I just came from two hours of meetings and four hours of class, I have a bazillion things to do before I go to bed tonight, but I have the French Pop playlist on Spotify going, I just ate some delicious black bean, sweet potato, and quinoa chili and eggplant with garlic tahini sauce I made myself, I’m in cute PJs, I’m lucky, and I’m happy.

And I have exciting boy stuff tomorrow. :)

OMG, yes! You don't realize how much energy and life the ED takes away until you're no longer controlled by it. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing. To all of Aja's followers -- keep going! It is WORTH the effort. Much love and light to all.

Guys this woman is one of the nicest, most genuine people I’ve ever met on the Internet. Just sayin’ :)

you know, you really inspire me with how open and honest you are (or seem haha). i often feel like i am open and honest, but i think i lie to myself, rationalizing reasons why i dont need to express things, illigetimizing myself and my emotions, and i bottle stuff up until i explode and destroy myself or my friendships... do you have any advice, can you relate at all? do you ever struggle to be expressive and what do you do to help? if not though, thanks for just inspiring me to see the truth <3

Awww, thank you! Yeah, I think I’m pretty good about being honest, both with myself and other people. 

(Although as you saw, I do bottle things up occasionally.)

I think what really helps is that when I notice I feel at all off—sad, or stressed, or annoyed, or moody—I try to slow down and really figure out what’s bothering me. Sometimes I’m short-tempered because I ate a challenge food and below the surface that panic is niggling at me. Or maybe I just had an awful night’s sleep so I’m not as cheery as usual. But once you realize what’s at the root of your negative emotions you can acknowledge them and move on.

Also, you’re perfectly allowed to feel WHATEVER you want to. There isn’t any such thing as an “illegitimate” feeling. Okay, maybe if you got mad when someone complimented you, that wouldn’t be fair. But in 99% of cases I’m confident your reaction is warranted. 

If you need to let things out, I’d suggest journaling (or my version, getting on Tumblr), taking a walk while listening to music and crying (a personal favorite ahaha), making angry pictures (ooh, another fave), punching your pillow (although that’s hard to keep up for more than a couple minutes), calling your mom (********), calling your friends, or taking a shower. Let yourself wallow, talk to people if they need talking to, and don’t feel bad for being a person and feeling stuff. Everyone does.

Good luck :*

i say good for you for speaking up.

Thanks! I kind of screwed it up after and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make my issues your issues blah blah blah…” when I should’ve said, “I apologize for suddenly blowing up, but you should know it makes me uncomfortable when you talk about how being skinny is so important all. the. time.”

Next time that’s how I’m handling it!

Aja I really need advice. I have a roommate, but we don't communicate, like at all. We don't dislike each other, I think, but we don't have much in common. I think it's mostly me but I am so used to being alone and unsocial. What and how should I try to speak to her more? And also, I have an eating disorder, she knows I'm a healthy eater, but should I tell her about my ed?

Hey! Well honestly, I think it’s totally fine if you guys don’t hang out because you don’t have in common. It can be nice not being friends with your roommates; you don’t feel obligated to always make conversation or include them in whatever you’re doing. I’m best friends with my roommate and it’s almost exhausting because if we “run into each other” in the hallway it always turns into a twenty-minute conversation.

BUT I can understand wanting to be friendly. Why don’t you ask her if she wants to go get froyo or Starbucks or something? (And don’t order something lame, get something yummy, okay ;P) Just ask her about where she’s from, her family, what she’s studying, her hobbies… Honestly, people love to talk about themselves, so just ask her about her and you’ll have lotsss of convo mileage.

I’m undecided whether you should tell her about your ED. I guess it depends on what you’re hoping to accomplish. Sometimes, it can be a big bombshell to drop on a new relationship. I think that if you’re opening up to each other (like she tells you something v. personal) you can definitely talk about your own stuff, but if you guys are still new, maybe wait a little? Once people know you have a disorder, they tend to see that as one of your primary characteristics. It’s college—this is your time to fully recover and break FREE from that old self!

You’re probably thinking, but wait, don’t your roommates know? Yup, they do, and they’re all my good friends. If you & your roommate get close, I’d absolutely tell her. Or if you need her to stop making triggering comments… Or if it’s just necessary! But if you don’t see a reason, I personally would hold off.

I hope this helps, and as always, if any anons disagree I’m sure they’ll tell me :PP

Thank you coffee and my succulent Harry for making my Monday cheerier. ☺️

Thank you coffee and my succulent Harry for making my Monday cheerier. ☺️